Its funny to think that as a kid people encourage you to follow your dreams, to reach for the "impossible", and do what it is that you really love to do. Now what they don't remember to tell you is as you get older, that ambition will be attacked, people try to talk you into settling for "9-5" life, and that you will face more hardships as you get closer and closer while more and more people try to stop you. Explain to me exactly why life has to be so hypocritical? Is it because people gave up on their own hopes and dreams that you must as well, or is it because you succeeding makes them realize that the "impossible" really isn't that "unreachable"?
Decisions for me, sometimes don't come so easily as other times, as you know, but when I actually do make up my mind to do something, it gets done. At dinner this evening I was out with my parents, and we where discussing an event where a group of young teens came across a girl being dragged across a park yelling and screaming. Apparently this girl was being kidnapped, so the teens called the cops. None the less the girl is still missing. Once again tonight I had one of those realizations about how different I am than most. Everyone I brought this story to would've done the same thing the teens did, I on the other hand would've went after the guy and tried to help the girl. When this is said, most of the comments that came next where "What happens if the man had a weapon?" My natural response: I would rather die trying to save someone's life, then to die without a cause and knowing I could've done something.
It took me a while to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my life. Now of course this is never narrowed down to just one area, but the main desire is to continue to capture life on film. Being behind a video camera is where a lot of my creativity comes out, and even in the worst conditions I still make the best effort I can with what's made available. I'm my own worst critic, but at the same time, I'll go over my footage over and over until I find what i do and don't like, and know what to look out for next time. The first thing I ever bought for myself from my first job was a $500.00 camera only making $5.15 an hour. God put on me to start a documentary of sorts regarding someone who's not only affected my life on a personal level, but helps me remember what its like to have fun with what you love to do. The only "professional experience" i have regarding film mainly is my contribution to media ministry at church, and some sides jobs I do. At times it felt like I kept pouring my shots out but wasn't enjoying it as much as I should. What I came to find about coming across the one chance I had to capture this individual that I recently spoke of, is that I actually was genuinely happy again doing what I loved to do. Don't get me wrong I love shooting footage for church, but when there's an emotional connection with who your documenting God moves the camera for you, and you just live and enjoy the whole moment. I work with a gentleman located out of FL who's in production and actually asks me to help out when he has projects being done in the tri-state area. He told me once: The number of chances you get in this line of work come from time to time, but when you find that break, grab hold and run with it.
I saw a chance open regarding this documentary, especially it being the first one I ever thought of putting together. In fact the footage I shot was never intended at least I thought towards anything productive. Gods good like that huh lol. After talking with a friend of mine, she had the chance to see some of what I shot and encouraged me to go after what I wanted. For the first time in my life I said I would stop my life as I knew it and jump at the chance to do this "job" full time. I don't see it as that though because I love doing it, which is what all people should be saying about what their doing with their lives. Of course my mom reminded herself I was an adult again and it was my decision, of course my dad thinks I should always have a "safety net". Honestly, though even if the opportunity did present itself for a limited time, I would still make the same choice and follow my dream. Isn't that why I have faith in God, so that I don't have to always think "logically"? None the less whatever happens, I still plan on making this film, getting it out to people that desire to have it, and then donating proceeds towards a chosen charity.There are some things I have done that I wish I was a little bit more patient with, because of respect issues, and I know that.
To "YOU" who has helped me out thus far with this vision I have, I honestly do appreciate YOU and what you've done for me. I'm sorry if I offended or bothered you in any way, that was never my intention. Patience is still a gift I am learning everyday, and I just wanted to let you know that. To those others out there that may be viewing this...don't let your emotions get the best of you, but at the same time seize every opportunity you can, so at least you know that you tried. Own up to any mistakes, and do what your designated next step is. There's nothing on this earth that brings me as much joy and happiness than seeing these few people because its that reminder that who you really are and what your out to do is possible. They remind me no matter how "successful" you are, to always remain humble, and whenever you can always act like a fool and appreciate what life has for you.
To my handshake buddy: I love and appreciate you more than you could ever imagine. I look forward to everything you continue to accomplish, and appreciate all that you've brought into my life. I value being honest with you regardless the cost because you deserve that. To be along this journey that you stepped up to start, I will always cherish and continue to respect & support you always. Thanx for throwin me the line.
For everyone else :) In summary, never give up on anything you have an aspiration to do, no matter who or what tries to stand in your way if you continue to go towards what's meant for you it will happen. Don't always think logically, and remember to trust and have faith at all times. Nothing is impossible in any area of your life. But continue to be yourself, and what's meant to happen will.
Thanks for reading this. Have a good night.
--Kelly.
