Yes, I know...its been a while since I've actually written something...but its been an interesting week or 2 so that alone needs some time to soak in! Thats really what today was for especially. A day of just sitting back and really seeing life in front of me.
Church was really great today, I got to hear and think about a lot thats been going on with my life lately. The best part though was that my friend Lillian and Greg came which i havent seen in a while. If you remember from a few posts back I mentioned about one of these other girls joining our house of God, Jasmine. Well today was the first time that her, Lillian and myself where in the same room again. Who wouldve thought that after all these years, the place we would meet up again would be church after all we've been through. I know I surely didn't but God did. I actually got to the point where I almost cried which never happens! Thats how hard it really hit about how thankful I was that we all gathered again in, especially in church. You have no idea. Though our lives are seperate now its still great how memories re-surface. Lillian mentioned something today like *You know its funny when I saw you on stage today videotaping. It hit me like all those years of taping our nonsense and your actually back behind the camera again*. I couldn't explain it then, but we all know now that the things we did got us together but its also those gifts that mold us and stick around. I can remember our first home movie...pasta with sausage haha. Now look where things are. Amazing.
I thought a lot about how much time really has flown lately. With all that I've done as well as my friends and family...its mindblowing. One day my friends child was born, and now its 4 months later? how is that possible haha. Its all just gone so quick. I'm greatful for it though, even the lessons that take a knock in the head for me to realize. In the end it always seems to be much more than what I started. I appreciate it all so much, especially my church family. Even though some of us are so different, we still click so amazingly well because God brought us together. I lived my life for a long time without faith in anything, and lord can tell ya I dont think I've ever been more blessed than I am now. I can only imagine whats next.
Sure unexpected things happen, things pop up and plans change...but if its something really worth waiting for, then theres nothing to worry about. I spoke with Daphma tonite and even though things we planned during the week really wont plan out like the layout haha, I was more happy to actually hear from her and know that she was considerate enough to let me know so far in advance. I know God has his hand on her life, and everything she does I know is for a reason. I remember when I was cool with people just letting me know the nite before...Good God what was wrong with me haha.
If I never came to the realization I did, as quick as I did, I really don't wanna imagine where my life would've ended up. I would like to think God would've hit me in the face and woke me up eventually...but I don't believe I would've been sain to actually see it. Sure we're given the power of free will, but the fact remains that if you live in a life of sin no matter how large your not gonna recieve the full blessing that God really has there out in his hand for you. He wants you to have it more than you ever could...just a matter of getting things straight again. Sure we can mess up from time to time...but after a while is it really all worth it? For those that really matter are the ones that touch your soul when just aiming for your heart. The ones that try even though they really dont need to. More importantly the ones that actually make the effort to get to know you instead of the ones just doing the same things over and over thinking that maybe you'll never want to change. Maybe you think that your stuck...but you have a say in what the end result really is. Free Will. But whatever decisions you make you will be held accountable. I didn't change my life without changing my enviorment. Sometimes its really that simple.
